A satirical commentary of today’s social media and blogging subculture,
Parasocial: Life in Silicon Valley examines how fan Lori Silkun meets top-ranked linux blogger Paul Murphy. A pseudo Robert Scoble makes a cameo appearance in the third scene. Also available for comment on YouTube and Digg.

This movie really had its genesis last April, when I wrote about the strange Parasocial phenomena that has arisen in our social media culture. In short, referencing a summary written last week):

From people trying to “date” rock star, favorite female or male bloggers or putting them on pedestals to the blatant stalking by people like Brian Conolly/Amanda Chapel and the Kathy Sierra nightmare, we’ve given birth to a parasocial culture.

Regardless of form (this movie takes a poke at some of the more light hearted shenanigans that go on), it seems really silly to take x,000 Twitter followers, Facebook friends, or daily readers as a sign of arrival. While we do live in a world where influencing the few means more, success in this sense doesn’t really seem to warrant the kind of silly, and quite frankly, vain attention that’s developing. Thus I could not help but make Parasocial, and what better setting for the movie than Silicon Valley, the heart of this ridiculous culture.

Last week’s Pendulum post inspired many great comments on the topic from the likes of Valeria Maltoni and Debbie Weil. Later in the week some prominent bloggers wrote related posts. Most notably Pam Slim wrote “How to avoid being ‘fan boy’ or ‘fan girl when building relationships with people you admire.’” Jason Falls wrote a post about bloggers taking themselves too seriously.

It’s good to see people are actually talking about this now. More important than the silly stuff, is becoming aware of the heinous attacks that have spread and affected several of my personal friends. These attacks range from efforts to defame and the very public case of Kathy Sierra receiving death threats. While people will be people, the Internet does not need to be the Wild West. Change begins with acknowledgment.

P.S. A light apology to Robert Scoble who served as a bit of a foil in this movie. While there may have been other choices, all of the hub bub about him coming to Washington last week for big party made him the natural choice.

Sometimes we make mistakes at work, and they can seem cataclysmic. In reality, some of the mistakes I see are made worse by the attempt to deny or bury the event, rather than take accountability and address the issues uncovered.  Even the worst mistakes can produce silver linings (image by Omar Eduardo).

To illustrate my point, here are my five worst mistakes and the lessons learned (in chronological order):

1) When I was 25 I had a boss who wouldn’t let me do anything I wanted.  Of course, I knew everything so what was the problem? Geez. Anyway, one day my boss came down on me or pissed me off or something else completely ego deflating, and I flipped out and yelled on her voicemail. 

Can you say sepuku?  Yeah, it was probation, but rather than fight the good fight, I resigned, knowing my actions were completely inappropriate. Later I made an amends with this boss, and we’ve since done business together.

Lessons learned: 1) My temper always gets the best of me. Do something about it.  2) No matter how comfortable you are with your boss, they are still the boss. Don’t cross the line. 3) Ego… More on the next one.

2) Next job (Oh yeah, don’t quit one job before you have another, doh!), I was promptly put on probation for not saying please and thank you.  Great. At this point, I had to acknowledge that my ego was going to kill me wherever I went, so I decided to eat humble pie and stick it out. And I succeeded. I received several increased responsibilities and control of three publications in six months.

Lessons Learned: 1) Being pleasant to work with is half of your job. 2) Ego is the root of almost every bad decision I make. It’s important to always look at my motives and see if fat-head disease is creeping in.

3) At 26 (notice most of these are in my twenties), I got an offer to move to Newport Beach, CA with lots of money and options, and a dot bomb, and a bunch of people who liked talking about the beach instead of real things…

Yeah. I went to get rich, and ended up humbled.  A year later I drove back across the country with the computer in the trunk and my clothes on my back. After getting fired during vacation on my cell phone along with the rest of the marketing team three weeks before our options vested. Nice (image by bucaorg).

Lessons Learned: 1) Ego was at play on this one again. I thought I was the man, but in reality too much of my personality was associated with work, and not on a spiritual life and actions, as well as my family. Losing everything to the point that I was sleeping in a friend’s basement off of 12th and Florida for two months taught me a ton. 2) Don’t ever assume you’ll get options until they are vested. 3) Don’t use VC to fund a company. They are f&ck0ng evil.

4) When I was 28, a Red Herring reporter took issue with my client and reported some incorrect facts.  It was extremely damaging, and when the reporter refused to take my calls and emailed me an incredibly snide, self-serving justification, I flamed him with a cc to the ENTIRE RED HERRING EDITORIAL STAFF. 

The president of my PR Division received a call from said reporter five minutes later. I was told another move like that would cause instant termination. Uh yeah. But Red Herring wrote three nice articles about the client after that :)

Lessons Learned: Temper again. Even justified anger does not warrant severe action. It would have been better to simply call a senior editor and take our case up the ladder.

5) At 32, I had a decent, established job at Widmeyer. I had brought in several nice clients and leads, including the National Scenic Byways Program and the National Law Enforcement Memorial Fund. But along came opportunity vis a vis a former president in a prior job. This time I was promised partnership, the ability to run my own division in a company…

But then I received three unsolicited phone calls from former direct reports of said president warning me not to take the job. When you have that many people telling you something in an unsolicited way, LISTEN! But I didn’t, and I got royally screwed over. Oh yeah, get on that white horse.

Lessons Learned: 1) Ego. Again. 2) Money and balance. Again. 3) I didn’t need anyone to be successful. I could do it on my own, and when things went bad, I did, and here we are now. The ultimate silver lining.

Take Aways

You can see I made a lot of repeat mistakes, often manifested in different situations. Yes, the same situation will keep presenting itself until the lesson is learned (image by Amish Shah). So the sooner you face the music, the better.

The other thing is that we all have personalities. Personalities include good and bad aspects.  My worst aspects still re-occur, though on a lesser level, and I am much quicker to rectify them. My temper is still an occasional ankle biter. Ego can still cause me to engage in situations I shouldn’t.

When you have these defects, you can’t kick yourself too hard. It’s better to laugh, learn and clean it up. Only the many religious conceptions of God are perfect,  and no one here is God.

The word human and humility both have the same Latin derivative: hum.   Both imply good quality and character. I often associate humility with brutal truth about oneself, a gift really, because humility ultimately allows me to be of good quality and character.

The new blog search engine, Twingly, is finally out of beta and has caught the attention of many bloggers. Advertised as “spam-free”, this European-based startup provides an array of features.

Twingly lists a blog’s recent posts, most linked posts, recent linking posts, authority (just like competitor Technorati) all on the blog’s very own profile. Other features include widgets, ‘pinging’ your blog, voting and suggesting upcoming features on the site. [Image credit: One Mans Blog]

The two most popular however, are the Twingly Screensaver and the Twingly Blogstream. The screensaver shows global blog activity in real time and the blogstream connects traditional media to the blogosphere.

Buzz Meter Ranking: 3 out of 4 Buzz Bees

Positive: Besides the obvious list of features, Twingly is very user friendly and has a simple interface. The Twingly Profiles provide almost everything that a blogger wants to know about a blog, all in one page – especially with who is linking to whose blog posts. Top it off, Twingly supports over 29 different languages and they’re spam-free!

Negative: A downside to the blog search engine is that in order to fully access all that Twingly has to offer, you must register with the site.

Conclusion: I do enjoy the overall functionality of Twingly. It was fun and very easy to use. The idea of integrating its users to help build upcoming features is brilliant! Some would even say that if you combine Twingly with Technorati, it would be a top notch blog search engine. I would definitely recommend people to check out Twingly.

The following nine minutes represent the first part of my keynote speech at this week’s Greater Baltimore Tech Council Social Media 101 event. Topics include the boom, why social media is important, and common corporate mistakes (nine minutes).

Our regular interview series will return next week with Director Tom.

A recent article on advertising techniques caught my eye. Touted as “The Five Creepiest Advertising Techniques“, the article points out what marketing and advertising firms are doing now (and will do in the future) to reach target audiences.

According to the article, the techniques are:

5. Tracking Every Site You Browse and Every Show You Watch

4. Custom-Made Shilling

3. Fusing Ads and Culture

2. Going Undercover

1. Getting In Your Head

People usually complain when they are bombarded with ads that aren’t relevant to them. But, where does the line get drawn between research and targeting audiences to just plain creepy?

Marketing is a fickle thing. You can be too pushy and loud, too quiet and reserved, or simply go after the wrong medium, people, etc.

How are smart marketers supposed to know the best ways to reach out to people amid different socio-economic backgrounds, gender roles, careers, and geographic locations?

It all comes down to balance.

Message. We know that we can’t control the message. So, make the message something that is simple and easy to propel through word of mouth marketing. For example, the “do the Dew” campaign easily translated into sports and video games based on the advertisements’ high levels of risky-behavior. People were able to immediately identify with the campaign and associate how the product fit into it.

Audience. Create a campaign that can work for a variety of groups. Keep a similar theme but develop different situations. Think of the MasterCard “priceless” commercials.

Research. Understanding your market is key. It doesn’t take a lot of creepy marketing techniques to find the right tactic. Consider the universal language of “dude” campaign from Bud Light. Targeted to the 18-34 year old male demographic, the ad was an immediate hit.

Keep these things in mind when developing a marketing campaign. Don’t go too far between extremes, and you won’t have to worry about resorting to creepy methods of research and outreach. In short, treat your marketing the way that you want to be treated. Think about what makes sense to you, and look at the bigger picture.

If organizations trust consumers to create programs, and consumers want control, then why aren’t more of us taking the reigns? Forget big brands for the moment. Yes, some people will create fan pages for Family Guy and Hot or Not Hotlists for Starbucks. Does this brand loyalty really benefit societal ills? Not so much.

Consider what matters. People are empowered to voice their concerns, harpoon issues, and rally support for pressing matters related to health, environment, education, politics, poverty. But they - we - don’t take advantage of this privilege.

Remarkable platforms have been built to further social issues, but lie dormant. It’s a reminder that support must start with self-selected community members who are compelled to act.

[ Image credit: source unknown, spotted at Lazy Habits. ]

Take Iowa/Midwest flooding. Craigslist’s Iowa pages are virtually devoid of calls to action for monetary/in-kind donations or volunteers. (On the other hand, Craigslist was one of the premier resources for families and service during the New Orleans flood.)

Then there’s Social Actions, a platform that aggregates user-developed campaigns across 29 do-good social networks: Care2, Change.org, Idealist.org, Razoo, MicroGiving, and GlobalGiving to name a few. Anyone can post their fundraising campaign to these sites. A search on Social Actions shows nothing on tap for Iowa.

The tools exist, but are untapped. Is there a good reason for this? Perhaps we think the Red Cross has it covered. In reality, the Red Cross disaster fund is depleted, having raised only $3.2 million of the anticipated $40 million it will take to ameliorate flooding the Midwest. Tack that up against the rising price of gas and food.

Another contributing factor in lack of action: people don’t know about - or how and why to use - the tools and knowledge at their disposal. Friend Jake Brewer at Idealist.org touched on this recently:

Where we’re very well known, we become even more well known. Where no one knows us (e.g. OK, AL, SD, WY, etc) well …no one knows us.”

Per yesterday’s PR Week article on “The Digital Effect,” 65.9% of marketers are “very willing” to let consumers play a significant role in shaping their marketing programs. But are marketers willing to educate?

Beyond that, if people are enabled to create communities and tools on their own terms, is the average consumer willing to learn how to do so?

Again, the imperative can’t be stressed for anything outside of cause marketing, CSR, advocacy, and social sector/nonprofit-related initiatives. Times are tough. Help your neighbor and educate your community.

What better hour than the present, when user-generated content is King and word of mouth is Lord?

UPDATE - JUNE 26, 5p.m.

A very thoughtful and fresh perspective was contributed via comment on this post from Greg Hollingsworth. I really appreciate his insights about the kind of turn-off-your-laptop-and-get-your-hands-dirty action that has been taking place in his home state of Iowa. For those who don’t live in that area and want to help via the Internet, Greg recommends two effective donation channels: Grant Wood Area Red Cross and/or the United Way of East Central Iowa. More on Greg’s insider POV here.

Matt Rhodes highlights a key finding from the Digital Influence Index Study from Fleishman-Hillard, researched by Harris Interactive, on FutureLab. This useful study, noting that the internet is twice as useful as television and eight times as influential as print media, is important for PR professionals, and anyone interested in how the internet is influencing consumers.

Ian Shafer highlights another great example for the power of social media by sharing a recent Yahoo! and Deep Focus study, “Engage and Entertain.” The study reveals that people who first lookup their shows on the Internet are more likely to watch, and more likely to get others to watch. See the detailed findings of this enlightening study at IanSchafer.com.

There is exciting news that Technorati is now offering a new blog ad network known as Technorati Media. Due to the major rise in ad networks, it was only ‘natural’ for the blog aggregator to launch their own. WatBlog’s Rajiv Dingra offers more insight on what has already gained interest from major car, phone, and media companies, and has already grown throughout India.

Wendy Maynard offers up some great tips on how to nail your next business presentation. Some of her suggestions are to show only one concept at a time, leave the presentation more informed, and describe and then show. For Wendy’s complete list and explanations, check out her post on the Kinetic Ideas blog.

Higher Ed Marketing’s Andrew Caraega provides useful tips on pitching. Regarding how to pitch, Andrew says that reports are looking for a short and relevant email with links. He also shares some useful advice from a senior editor and chief science writer at Newsweek, Sharon Begley, on what types of stories generate ink.

When a pendulum swings too far in one direction, force of gravity pulls it back in the opposite direction. This motion creates an equilibrium, a balance that eventually settles in the middle. It seems that social media continues to grow red hot, and blogs are a continuing focus of influentials for readers and marketers alike. But how much longer can this pendulum swing in one direction (image by Brandi666)?

It’s inevitable that the social media craze will subside with a refocus on integration and balanced use of tactics across diverse media. We’ve been blogging about this for more than a year, ever since our first run in with the Amandae.

Five Reasons to Duck

If the pendulum is swinging too far into the social media court right now, then gravity will pull marketing back to equilibrium. Here are the things that have caused me to take notice:

1) Too many communicators have the shiny object syndrome, yet don’t have domain expertise. That means we’re seeing a lot of bad social media this year. In turn, you can expect corresponding failures and a reaction against social media.

2) With the boom has come increased attention, and more more, we are seeing cocky bloggers who have taken their readership and power too seriously. Worse are the ones who are followed closely like a news source, but obviously shoot their mouths off without fact checking or really understanding their subject matter.

Great blogging always had its heart in passion and domain expertise. When neither are present — instead replaced with bad information and ego-ridden acts — people will eventually catch on and stop believing. For example, remember how big Steve Rubel used to be? Once a top Technorati 100 regular, he has dropped out of the top 1000 blogs.

3) A decadent subculture: I’ve been on the speaking circuit, have attended the events, and seen the great comradery, and in some cases, decadence that has arisen. From people trying to “date” rock star, favorite female or male bloggers or putting them on pedestals to the blatant stalking by people like Brian Conolly/Amanda Chapel and the Kathy Sierra nightmare, we’ve given birth to a parasocial culture (more on this next week). How long until parasocial behavior begins hurting the social media culture with scandal and the like (image by alpineinc)?

4) Along the lines of three, with our subculture has arisen gossip and unprofessional fascination a la Valleywag. Vicious false attacks are the norm here. Smells like post-prime Rome to me. I mean we’re talking geeks here. Are we really this important? Please.

5) The AP content issue reminded me of the media titans who continue to watch their mindshare slip away. They will fight this change, and do anything they can to protect their revenue, including limiting access to information unless you are a paid member. It’s been a losing battle so far, but sooner or later professionally developed content will see an uptick in demand. Why? See reason one. If traditional media continues to protect their value and refuse to compromise, they will benefit.

Social media will not go away. Believe me, I am not calling for a collapse. In fact, I’ve staked this company’s future on the ongoing need for social PR. Yet perhaps an over reliance on bloggers as experts will pass, or a shake out of the fake social media consultants will come. Perhaps we’ll start respecting our professional media sources a little more.

The pendulum will swing back. A more measured, integrated and intelligent approach to conversational media will take place. When? There are a lot of factors in play starting with the economy. In addition, if Obama wins, you can anticipate widespread adoption of social media by the government. So don’t expect the pendulum to swing this summer or fall, but more likely in 2009.

Yesterday, I spoke on a Blogger Relations panel for the Public Relations Society of America National Capital Chapter (presentation below and on slideshare). It was a fascinating panel because literally 65-75 percent of attendees were not personally engaged in social media. Like Joe Thornley says, this is a serious problem. How can you effectively guide your clients or your company if you are not doing it yourself?

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I started the discussion with material not in the PPT. Now Is Gone has a total of one in 150 pages dedicated to blogger relations. Today maybe it would have five to 10, based on the feedback and requests for more information. But these requests are somewhat off kilter, too.

Too much of today’s social media promotion focuses on blogger relations tactics instead of true Word of Mouth. Today’s blogger relations focus is a short-sighted approach trying to slam a media relations model on a community oriented space. Instead of pitching skills, PR and blogger relations pros need networking skills. Instead of trying to get coverage and impressions, corporate representatives should focus on how they can fit into the community and deliver value.

My favorite example of this is Radian6, which basically came out of nowhere last fall to become the leading measurement tool for the business. Radian6 understood not only how to measure social media, but how to participate in it. Participation led to free trials for influentials, genuine conversations on how to improve their product, acceptance as members of the community, and resulting widespread adoption and word of mouth.

Social media channels are communities of people. Influencers come in many forms, and a lot of them are on social networks ranging from the macro (Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, etc.) to the micro (Plurk, MyRagan, Change.org). If you don’t know where the back channel conversation is occuring, then you don’t know the community.

Other panelists included:

One of things I liked about this panel was Rachelle. Rachelle is not a blogger, but she is extremely well versed and has strong social network profiles. She got that this is a community thing, not an individual blogger thing, that bloggers fit within a larger whole.

If marketers are going to be successful in social media, they have to understand its dynamics. It’s much more than just a blog hit or treating bloggers correctly. It’s a wholistic, integrated approach that requires more, including participation, understanding of community needs, content creation, providing influence, and helping other community members. It’s about integrating social media into your traditional marketing, corresponding ad buys, creating non textual content, and understanding word of mouth.

Take a step back. Look at the big picture.

Anna Farmery is one of Great Britain’s leading podcasters. I joined her for a chat on Now Is Gone in Episode 172 of the Engaging Brand podcast this week. During the show we talked about:

* What are the rules of engagement
* How community has changed
* Are companies entering social media for the right reasons
* Where does social media belong ? Is it a communication tool or a customer service initiative?
* Do you need a PR strategy?
* How important is social media training within business?
* Have we reached a plateau…..is there a trick to differentiating yourself from competitors?
* The 3 aspects of branding

If you are trying to figure out social media for your company or agency, give the podcast a listen. I think you’ll get a lot out of it. And special thanks to Anna for having me on the show!