Livingston

Dec
03
2007

Six Ways to Make People Like You

dale-carnegie

Section Two of Dale Carnegie’s timeless classic “How to Win Friends and Influence People” contained six principles to “make people like you.”  Out of all four sections, this one seems to have the most application to social media community building, particularly for personal brands.

I cannot help but think of Chris Brogan when I read these. Here are the six with a little social media commentary added to the mix:

1) “Become genuinely interested in other people.” That means go out there and comment on other folks’ blogs, twits, and general social media activities. Read their stuff, become engaged.

2) “Smile.”  No one likes to hang out with a negative person in reality.  Conversational media is no different.  Let your words convey a great smile. Show people you’re generally a positive person looking to create solutions rather than cause problems.

3) “Remember that a man’s name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” Link and refer to others frequently in your activities. Give credit to others. This gets always gives someone a little lift and epitomizes what Doc Searls called the Generous Web.

4) “Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.” Don’t shut people down in comments or in dialogue.  You don’t have to agree with everyone, but see what they have to say.  Folks want to feel like they have been heard.

5) “Talk in the terms of the other man’s interest.” That means when conversing, either on your site or another place with someone, stop promoting!  Marketers often make this mistake.  Remember, most people — including your potential buyers and customers — are primarily concerned with their own needs and thoughts.

6) “Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.” Thank people for participating.  Remember their names, refer to them. And remember to feel grateful that they are participating in a conversation with you.  People can spend their time anywhere.

One common criticism I get is an overuse of cliched principle from other era.  Old saws, as Bill Sledznik likes to say.

Why reinvent the wheel when such principles: a) Have already been created; b) millions of experiences show they work; and c) the current environment demonstrates that Carnegie’s lessons may be lost on the current generation. If anything these old truths need to be discussed again so we don’t have to go through the hardship of relearning them. History adds context.

You can see all of Dale Carnegie’s principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People here .

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by Geoff Livingston | Blogging, Internet Marketing, Social Networks |

7 Responses to “Six Ways to Make People Like You”

  • Mitch Joel - Twist Image Says:

    December 3rd, 2007 at 11:22 am

    Excellent post Geoff. The spirit of why I Blog - I hope - follows these very golden rules.

    Social Media is neutral - it can be used for good or bad depending on who is using it(and how).

    Years later, Dale Carnegie’s message rings truer than ever.

    I really appreciated that you took the time to comment on each one as well.

  • Jared Goralnick Says:

    December 3rd, 2007 at 12:25 pm

    Geoff,

    Great timing on highlighting Carnegie’s book. I recently reread it for a book club and, though people gave me strange looks when I carried it around, his writing is digestible and as apropos today as ever before. If anything, his title is the only thing remotely off-putting about it.

    Anyhow, thanks for the good post again.

  • Geoff Livingston Says:

    December 3rd, 2007 at 4:25 pm

    Yeah, it’s amazing how much of the old stuff is still relevant today. Yet we look to others to tell us these same commonplace principles. Thanks Mitch and Joel for coming by.

  • Chris Brogan... Says:

    December 3rd, 2007 at 6:27 pm

    There’s so much here. And one thing that comes right to mind is that Stephen R. Covey said flat out at the beginning of the 7 Habits book that nothing was especially new. He was just highlighting it. So, it’s great that you highlight Carnegie’s book and how it applies.

    Even the Heath brothers in MADE TO STICK talk about how powerful it is to turn the focus back on others. I do it all the time because people really feel at ease quickly when they feel understood. How better to understand people than to give them air to speak and share their perspective.

    Habit 5, right? : )

    Thanks for the shout-out. You’re a good buzzer.

  • Kami Huyse Says:

    December 3rd, 2007 at 11:20 pm

    This is a great re-work of one of my absolutely favorite business books of all time.

  • Syven Says:

    December 4th, 2007 at 2:10 am

    If there are three tenors of success writers, I would say they are Dale Carnegie, Napoleon Hill and Zig Ziglar. There is a timeless quality about their work which would apply through the generations.

    If anything this blog serves as a timely reminder to re-acquaint myself with their books. While we do live in branded times, it is always refreshing to read those authors who can mix common sense with the human condition.

    M.

  • Geoff Livingston Says:

    December 4th, 2007 at 4:27 am

    @Chris and Syven Great additional reading suggestions. Thanks for coming by. Chris you are the best Buzzer.

    @Kami Me, too, my friend. I read it every couple of years.

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